The gentle breeze lifted the edge of her niqab. She silently held it in place.
The laughter and glee of children playing was in the air as she walked aimlessly.
The smell of a nearby barbecue greeted her fasting frame. It was a Monday.
Walking was her solace. She could walk for hours and just be in her own world. Reflecting on the creation of Allah and His greatness.
And then suddenly, quiet pain seeped through her broken heart and filled her being.
She felt fragile as the tears found its way to her eyes. She closed them and let them flow gracefully.
Thankfully, no one would suspect that behind those layers of fabric were streams of tears.
For a stranger with a more careful eye, they might notice the glistening of her eyes, almost like pearls, and wonder if she wore contacts.
At that moment, the author wishes some kind stranger materialised and noticed her sad eyes. Felt her pain. Offered her a smile and comforting words. Maybe tempted her to break her fast with some hot cappuccino. She deserved it thoroughly.
But the strong, it seems, aren't made that way.
As the pain pulled at her heartstrings again, she repeated these words
"Allahumma la sahla illa ma ja'ltahu sahlan wa Anta ja'lul huzna iza shi'ata sahla"
'O Allah there is no ease except that which you made easy, and you make the difficulty, if you wish, easy'
She felt her burden lighten and she slowed her pace.
Mercy.
She realised with a pang that's what these tears were.
She remembered the hadith of her Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) when tears made its way to his eyes and a sahabi questioned it.
Narrated Anas bin Malik:We went with Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) (p.b.u.h) to the blacksmith Abu Saif, and he was the husband of the wet-nurse of Ibrahim (the son of the Prophet). Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) took Ibrahim and kissed him and smelled him and later we entered Abu Saif's house and at that time Ibrahim was in his last breaths, and the eyes of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) (p.b.u.h) started shedding tears. `Abdur Rahman bin `Auf said, "O Allah's Apostle, even you are weeping!" He said, "O Ibn `Auf, this is mercy." Then he wept more and said, "The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord, O Ibrahim ! Indeed we are grieved by your separation."
She felt a warmth as more tears made its way, but this time, these were tears of gratitude.
"Ya Rabb"
She quietly whispered.
"My King" she whispered again.
"My King who knows my dreams. My King who knows my pain, My King"
She made her way past bushes adorned with white flowers. She made her way past swings. Until she reached it. The water fountain.
There, just around the corner was an isolated bench.
She lightly placed herself on it.
"My King, My Rabb, The Most Merciful of those who show mercy"
She felt the sweetness of this connection. This dua. As the pain in her heart found words again.
"Heal my wounds and grant me happiness and peace, Ya Mujeeb, Ya Shafi, Ya Jabbar"
She felt something cool and light trickle down through her heart and into her being. It was as though these words were the balm for her stinging pain.
The wound still pulsated with hurt. But it was a beautiful pain. One that consistently reminded her of the nature of this dunya.
Temporary.
And one that made her long for her place in Jannah. Where she will be free from all worries, all the hurt. Where it will be all beauty without pain. With unimaginable joy.
And in that, she took pleasure. In that, she lived.
Nusaybah will live. Will strive. Will survive.
In fact, she will thrive. In sha Allah.
~Inna lillahi wa Inna ilayhi rajioon
To Allah we belong and to Him we return.
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Assalamu'alikum reader!
Congratulations for making it to the end! Anything ranging from constructive criticism to a single line of encouragement is appreciated.
If you are a non-Muslim reader and have any questions about Islam, feel free to post them as well!
Also, Let me know what topic you'd like me to write about next!
That's all folks. <3 (This heart looks like a carrot, doesn't it? Haha.......Doesn't it? :/ )